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Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts

Saturday, July 27, 2013

#090 Simply Irresitible For Women



Finding a bottle on the beach, Jake uncorked it and released a genie.

“Ah, now you get three wishes,” said the genie.

“Great!” Jake replied. “First I want one billion dollars.”

Poof! There was a flash, and a paper with Swiss bank account numbers appeared in Jake’s hand.

“Next, I want a Ferrari.”

Poof! Another flash and a shiny red Ferrari was parked next to him.

“Finally,” Jake said. “I want to be irresistible to women.”


Poof! There was another blinding flash, and Jake turned into a box of chocolates.



-FIN-
Read the Indonesian translation HERE
Author: Unknown
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Thursday, July 25, 2013

#087 Shocked Journalist



A female journalist filed a report on gender roles in Kuwait a few years prior to the Gulf War, and noted then that in their tradition, women had to walk about 10 feet behind their husbands.

Recently, that journalist returned to Kuwait and observed that the men now walked several yards behind their wives. She approached one of the women for an explanation.

“This is marvelous,” that journalist said. “What enabled woman here to achieve this reversal of gender roles?”


The Kuwaiti woman replied, “Land Mines.”


-FIN-
Read the Indonesian translation HERE
Author: Unknown
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Wednesday, July 24, 2013

#083 A Wife Who Always Wanted More



Wife: Hubby, look at our neighbour, they just bought 4-doors refrigerator!

For Illustration Purpose Only

Husband: So what’s the problem my wife?

Wife: Don’t lose to them hubby, next time we have to buy the 6-door one.

Husband: Yes, we will buy it in the future.

Wife: Then the other day Mrs Diah bought 2 cars hubby.

Husband: So what’s the problem again my wife? You want another?

Wife: Of course hubby, just don’t lose to them. Our neighbour bought 4-door refrigerator, we buy 6-door one. Our neighbour bought 2 cars, we by 3 cars.

Husband: Do we have to do that my wife? Neighbour bought 2 cars, we have to own 3. Neighbours bought 4-door refrigerator, we have to own 6-door refrigerator. Does that mean if a neighbour has 2 wives, I have to have 3 wives?

Wife: Over my dead body!


-FIN-
Read the Indonesian translation HERE
Author: Unknown
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Tuesday, July 23, 2013

#080 Who Did Patrick's Homework ?



Patrick never did his homework. "Too boring," he said. He played baseball and basketball instead.

His teachers told him, "Patrick! Do your homework or you won't learn a thing."

And it's true; sometimes he did feel like a ding-a-ling in the class. But what could he do? He hated homework. Then one day, his cat was playing with a little doll and he grabbed it away. To his surprise, it wasn't a doll at all, but a man with size. He had a little wool shirt with old fashioned trousers and a high tall hat much like a witch's. It was an elf!


He yelled, "Save me! Don't give me back to that cat. I'll grant you a wish, I promise you that."

Patrick couldn't believe how lucky he was! Here was the answer to all of his problems. So he said, "Only if you do all my homework until the end of the semester, that's 35 days. If you do a good enough job, I could even get A's."

The little man's face wrinkled and he kicked his legs and pursed his lips, "Oh, am I cursed! But I'll do it."

And he kept his word, that little elf began to do Patrick's homework, but there was one glitch. The elf didn't always know what to do and he needed help.

"Help me! Help me!" he said.

And Patrick would have to help in whatever way.

"I don't know this word," the elf squeaked while reading Patrick's homework.

"Get me a dictionary. No, what's even better that you look up the word and pronounce it out by each letter."

When it came to maths, Patrick was also out of luck because the elf needed his help again.

"What are multiplication tables?" the elf shrieked. "We elves never need that. Addition, subtraction, division and fractions? Here, sit down beside me, you simply must guide me."

Elves knew nothing about human; to them it's something new. So the Little elf, already a shouter, just got louder. "Go to the library, I need books. More and more books. And you can help me read them, too."

As a matter of fact, every day that little elf was a nag! Patrick was working harder than ever! He was staying up nights, he had never felt so tired, and was going to school with his eyes puffed.

Finally, the last day of school arrived and the elf was free to go. Since then was no more homework. Patrick got his A's and his classmates were amazed. His teachers smiled and were full of praise. And his parents? They wondered what had happened to Patrick. In the end Patrick still thought he'd made that tiny man do all his homework. But it wasn't the elf; Patrick was the one who had done the homework!


-FIN-
Read the Indonesian translation HERE
Author: Unknown
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#079 A Frog And A Fortune Teller



A frog telephoned a fortune teller hot line and was told, “You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you.”

“Great!” said the frog, “will I meet her at a party?”


“No,” said the fortune teller, “next year in biology class.”


-FIN-
Read the Indonesian translation HERE
Author: Unknown
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